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i · would · go · out · tonight...


SEMANTICS

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Dear Speakers of the (MOSTLY FATPHOBIC) English Language,

I don't & have never talked about my fat & weight as an "issue"* or "problem." It's you that does that, and it is tired, and dated, and SO FUCKING ANNOYING. FYI, when you talk about "my weight issue" or "my weight problem" you are, both through your pitious tone & unexamined terminology, implying several shitty things: a) fat & weight are a problem b) you have a problem with fat (and therefore with me) c) that if i don't consider my size a problem, I OUGHT TO. THIS IS BULLSHIT. I DON'T. CEASE & DESIST. IMMEDIATELY. AND NO, APPENDING "BUT WE ALL HAVE WEIGHT PROBLEMS" does not make it any more universal or okay.

Also, while you're at it feel, free to stop using "slimming" and "minimizing" as your ultimate compliment when giving me props on an outfit. I, unlike a spy, stage show puppeteer, cat burgler, or Odo on special ops, DO NOT dress to disappear. My body exists. I occupy physical space, as much as I want/need, and I WILL NOT apologize for it. I WILL NOT, make myself look/feel smaller to better fit your tiny narrow-minded view.

TRY A WHOLE LOT HARDER TO SUCK A WHOLE LOT LESS, OKAY?

no big fat bunches of corpulent love,

stitch



*Fat is certainly an issue. a broad socio-political one for which people experience appaulingly unjust treatment at an institutionalized level. not the teenage kind your parents try to head off by forcing you into bible camp/taking away the car keys on a Friday Night. THANK YOU.
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On March 1st, 2008 08:17 pm (UTC), aircrash commented:
THANK YOU

*adds to memories*
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On March 4th, 2008 03:54 am (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
<333! love ya darlin!
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On March 1st, 2008 09:48 pm (UTC), coco73 replied:
Oh, beautiful! This is such the perfect analogy!
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On March 4th, 2008 03:27 am (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
excellent (literary) analogy! i've been seeing people referring to "weight problems' to talk about fat lately, and I'm sure most of them are saying it that way to be "polite" but I find it really really irritating.

i think most of the time when we refer to certain people's "problems" we are actually revealing our own feelings about those particular things.

awhile back i was telling my friend smith that our kitten had a "peeing problem" and he was like "no she doesn't. she pees wear she wants. YOU have the problem." he was being witty, but it's true.
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On March 5th, 2008 08:44 pm (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
she pees WHERE she wants.

i clearly fail at homonyms & grammar.
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On March 1st, 2008 08:52 pm (UTC), theunrealcity commented:
*applauds*
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On March 5th, 2008 08:42 pm (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
thanks darlin!
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On March 1st, 2008 09:50 pm (UTC), coco73 commented:
Yes way! What fucking problem?
"BUT WE ALL HAVE WEIGHT PROBLEMS"
How does this even make sense? If we all have a "problem" than doesn't it suggest that no one does?
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On March 4th, 2008 03:49 am (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
yeah it's totally the dismissive. the "but it's universallllllllll" claim invariably gets touted out so that people can justify ignoring personal and political inequalities and their own privilege.

it's really easy for people who don't experience institutionalized hatred to say things like "oh we have all been there. it's fine. get over it."
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On March 1st, 2008 09:58 pm (UTC), chavvah commented:
I am RIGHT pissed on your behalf.

P.S. LOLZ @ your DS9 reference. You win so hard.
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On March 4th, 2008 03:49 am (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
a ha ha that DS9 reference was especially there for you & gemsweater!

<3
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On March 2nd, 2008 12:25 am (UTC), starmiranda commented:
amen, dear. that shit is fucked up. xoxo
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On March 2nd, 2008 12:39 am (UTC), bitsandb0bbins commented:
*cheers!*

you tell 'em.

you are fabulous in a myriad of ways.
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On March 4th, 2008 03:23 am (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
<3!! right back atcha!
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On March 2nd, 2008 01:22 am (UTC), ninthscompanion commented:
WRD. You win the car keys every Friday night.

Once after my stepdad had referenced my weight one too many times, I asked him if he had a problem with my weight. When he responded "of course I do," I told him to keep the problem that way -- his. Oh, dad... what a fucker.

And yeah, like I said earlier, if I wanted to make less of myself visible, I'd wear more camo. :P

xoxo, darling.
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On March 4th, 2008 03:53 am (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
i'm impressed that you stood up to your dad! it's only in the last few years that i've felt armed & brave enough to tackle the issues of Fat & HAES with my family!

also camo=STEALTH FATTIES
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On March 2nd, 2008 06:19 am (UTC), sundaysunday commented:
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On March 2nd, 2008 07:08 am (UTC), coco73 replied:
Fuck that shit! Fatshionista is rife with this crap, as of late. I think it's time for some more political posts.

How much do you love Mar's responses, though?
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On March 4th, 2008 03:50 am (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
mar owned it! (& sorry for the icon confusion!) my lily is the further back!
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On March 3rd, 2008 08:22 am (UTC), implicate replied:
are people still talking that mess on fats? :(
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On March 4th, 2008 03:51 am (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
sad but true. that's why all you smrt folk should continue to participate in the comm!
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On March 5th, 2008 05:34 am (UTC), rosewater replied:
I finally re-added it... it was your outfit post that put me over the edge. :> I can't imagine when I would have seen what you've done with your hair if I hadn't checked in on fats!
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On March 5th, 2008 07:55 am (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
i'm happy i drove you to re-add... i totally did a vainglorious LOOK AT MAH NEW HAIRZ post in this journal though... i wonder if the friends pages are dropping posts again? it is the post before the weight problems one!
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On March 5th, 2008 08:00 am (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
as in the post before this one. i'm having a real DOH moment here.
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On March 5th, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC), rosewater replied:
YOU'RE having a d'oh moment? I'm the one who missed a hair post that was staring me in the face!
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On March 2nd, 2008 10:23 am (UTC), misslizzybear commented:
Awesome post, I totally agree.
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On March 4th, 2008 03:51 am (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
thanks!
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On March 2nd, 2008 04:33 pm (UTC), meestagoat commented:
Rock.
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On March 4th, 2008 03:51 am (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
<3!
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On March 3rd, 2008 04:47 am (UTC), star_power commented:
I love you Cynara!!!! I also love this post!
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On March 4th, 2008 03:51 am (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
aww i love you too jess! <3!
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On March 5th, 2008 09:15 pm (UTC), paigenotpage commented:
Just reading this now. It's great!
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On March 6th, 2008 10:35 pm (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
why thank you, my fellow "junior" co-mod!
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On March 6th, 2008 09:50 pm (UTC), buttercup_rocks commented:
Top notch post. I'd never actually heard the phrase "weight problem" before an American friend of mine said in passing; "my sister has even more of a weight problem than I do". I had no idea what she was on about, especially as she wasn't especially fat, but something about the term has always bugged me and you just put your finger smack bang in the middle of why.
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On March 6th, 2008 10:32 pm (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
thanks! so you don't encounter this kind of "problem" terminology in the UK, then? Curious & revealing, too. Our W Network has picked up quite a few British design & home oriented programs &, while i'm sure fatphobia exists in the UK & it's media, i've noticed that in the British television programs i watch, the presenters look far less photoshopped & nipped & tucked & airbrushed than those on North American television. It's really refreshing to watch them!

& btw, how do you feel about a mutual lj friending? (i, personally feel it's overdue!)
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On March 6th, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC), stitchtowhere replied:
GRAR!
how many times am i going to mess up its/it's today!???

dear brain, it's is a contraction ONLY. you only ever use it when you want to mean "IT IS". i know that you're used to adding apostrophes to signal possessives, but its never ever takes on. PLEASE, work with me here!
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