Alice in Scenesterland (stitchtowhere) wrote,

major malfunction

what i left the house wearing: jean jacket, shirt (tucked into pencil skirt), pencil skirt, half slip, belt, two earrings.

what i arrived to my internship wearing 15 minutes later: shirt (untucked), skirt, single earring (Yar!). (that is, for those of you keeping score, about 42% less clothing than I left the house with).

because i went to see Iron Man 2 instead of doing laundry last night, i had to resort to wearing the kinda-too-big pair of boycuts that desperately wishes it were a thong (aka it wants to live IN MY ASS).

you would think i would have learned my lesson from the incident last year, but no. and so, this single ill-fitting pair of underpants was the catalyst to my clothing transforming from regular serviceable body coverings into an elaborate pulley system of FAIL. my shirt traveled upwards! my skirt traveled downwards! my slip traveled sideways and began winding itself up my hip like a satin sidewinder, my-held-together-with-staples-and-clever-sewing-belt crumbled from friction and fell off as i was running for the bus. my earring, apparently overwhelmed by the sartorial horror of it all jettisoned itself from my ear. (the jacket is less dramatic. i took it off because i had started to perspire mightily).

contortionist disrobing in the bus shack one block from the office is definitely how i wanted to start the week. hello, monday.

**SPOILER**: While Tony Stark possesses the technology and know-how to FORGE A BRAND NEW ELEMENT over the course of a 4 minute montage, he is unable to trace a 30-second phone call. super villains, TAKE NOTE.
Tags: wardrobe malfunction
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