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major malfunction

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what i left the house wearing: jean jacket, shirt (tucked into pencil skirt), pencil skirt, half slip, belt, two earrings.

what i arrived to my internship wearing 15 minutes later: shirt (untucked), skirt, single earring (Yar!). (that is, for those of you keeping score, about 42% less clothing than I left the house with).


because i went to see Iron Man 2 instead of doing laundry last night, i had to resort to wearing the kinda-too-big pair of boycuts that desperately wishes it were a thong (aka it wants to live IN MY ASS).

you would think i would have learned my lesson from the incident last year, but no. and so, this single ill-fitting pair of underpants was the catalyst to my clothing transforming from regular serviceable body coverings into an elaborate pulley system of FAIL. my shirt traveled upwards! my skirt traveled downwards! my slip traveled sideways and began winding itself up my hip like a satin sidewinder, my-held-together-with-staples-and-clever-sewing-belt crumbled from friction and fell off as i was running for the bus. my earring, apparently overwhelmed by the sartorial horror of it all jettisoned itself from my ear. (the jacket is less dramatic. i took it off because i had started to perspire mightily).


contortionist disrobing in the bus shack one block from the office is definitely how i wanted to start the week. hello, monday.

**SPOILER**: While Tony Stark possesses the technology and know-how to FORGE A BRAND NEW ELEMENT over the course of a 4 minute montage, he is unable to trace a 30-second phone call. super villains, TAKE NOTE.
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On May 10th, 2010 08:59 pm (UTC), lowbudgetdiva commented:
I feel like skirts are more guilty of the pulley system of fail than most garments. I find myself not wearing most of mine for this very reason. But dresses every day is too dull (for me), so how do we solve this disastrous problem?
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On May 10th, 2010 09:49 pm (UTC), originalenid commented:
I fucking hate boyshorts too. I bought 3 pair on sale just to try, and man, they are evil. But you SURVIVED and you are STRONGER FOR IT!!

Also we are now gonna write a prog-rock song called "Satin Sidewinder".

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On May 11th, 2010 03:19 am (UTC), chavvah commented:
Bwahahaha! I wondered about that too. Clearly now there's only one thing for it. We have to prank-call Tony Stark.

If it's any consolation, my Monday finished with me almost punching someone in the junk. I refrained only because I was in uniform.
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On May 11th, 2010 06:47 pm (UTC), imperfectmedium commented:
Bah! Costume fail.

Wardrobe malfunction at work sucks, especially when you're just starting someplace new. Fortunately, you're so outstandingly brilliant that I've no doubt your rhetorical eloquence and searing insight will blind them to any failings of your outfit. :)
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On June 14th, 2010 05:04 am (UTC), trixieross commented:
BAHAHAHA I love your spoiler!
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